How to Love God in 5 Steps

How to Love God in 5 Steps


Saints, psalmists and prophets have all referenced love of God as being akin to great romance.

Whether romance or friendship, love for God is based on relationship.

And relationship takes time, attention and commitment.

“The only way I can explain it is in human terms,” Sister Ruth Ksycki, OSB says.

“Building a relationship with God is like becoming good friends with someone.”

Here’s how:

1. Meet each other

“We often meet a new friend through other people,” she says. “Our parents and teachers usually introduce God to us first.”

That introduction may spark curiosity, but every moment represents another chance to meet God.

Sr. Ruth recounts her own powerful experience as a young child.

“What created a hunger in me was my first personal encounter with God,” she says.

“It happened during a spectacular sunrise on a lake where my family was staying. It really touched me, and made me want more.”

As with anyone, we can avoid chances to meet, or be open to them. Be open.

2. Learn more about each other

With a new friend, we might meet for coffee. With God?

“Early on I went to almost daily Mass,” Sr. Ruth says.

“I read stories about saints and prayed the Rosary.”

Learning about God is about opening our hearts to all God’s creation … and listening, to ourselves, one another, nature, Scripture, art.

If we show up, God will take care of the rest. Show up.

3. Spend time together

As in any friendship, we need to intentionally plan to spend time with God, in whatever form of prayer we are called to. How?

“Well, I became a Benedictine Sister,” Sr. Ruth laughs.

“I always look forward to our quiet days of prayer and our annual retreat. I practice Lectio (the reading of Scripture in a reflective, not academic, way). I have never tired of this.”

Communal prayer such as the Liturgy of the Hours is also a daily Benedictine practice, as is Centering Prayer for many.

The most important way to spend time together is to practice awareness of God. Make time.

4. Commit to each other

Commitment between friends is evidenced by action: the willingness to be there whenever needed, the willingness to ask for help.

With God, too, we are invited to be there. To hold God in our hearts during formal prayer, daily tasks, walks in nature.

“Commitment must be ongoing,” Sr. Ruth says. “The Sisters practice our commitment in many ways, including our daily communal prayer schedule, Lectio and private prayer.”

There are an infinite number of ways to practice commitment to our Loved One. Be there.

5. Share it!

Sr. Ruth says our growing love invites us to share it with others.

“Sharing our love deepens our relationship with God,” she says.

As in friendship with another person, love makes more of both. It cannot help but spread outward, in lovingkindness.

And when it does, we meet, see and experience God all over again.

“When we share our love of God, we meet God in a new way,” Sr. Ruth says. “We begin again with the first step.”

So, take that first step … and introduce yourself. You never know where it will lead!


Comments (3)

  1. Toni Wilken:
    Nov 29, 2017 at 12:04 PM

    Thank you, Sr. Ruth! These five steps to building a loving relationship with God inspire me. Wise words for us all. ??????

  2. Jessica House:
    Feb 01, 2018 at 08:11 AM

    I find in God cunning wit. For example, "God made the firmament, and it was so."
    I joked to Him, "I promise I was impressed."


  3. theresa case:
    Jan 15, 2019 at 04:23 AM

    today this reading was a gift. thank you


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